However, luckily for you, weve got you covered. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. If your partner isn't completely over their ex, they might make suggestions to you on how to behave in ways that are very similar to their ex. The content of this website contains general information and may not reflect current legal developments, verdicts or settlements. If your partner is not over their ex, you may feel their lack of commitment in your relationship. This can be another fairly obvious one. This could be as exciting as your early relationship was. Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life. When you address your concerns with your partner, do they immediately defend themselves or their actions? But if they get heated or defensive, then it's worth noting.. If you find this to be the case, it may be something to discuss with your partner. Ask him right away when you can go and pick your stuff up. Its not just his way of getting you to think of him but also a way to boost his own ego. Ziff Davis, LLC BBB Business Review. What kind of stuff is left over there? Hell think that theres no reason for him to give you anything back, so youll only seem like a fool who constantly contacts him for no reason. Your Ex Tells You To Never Talk To Them Again. Along with almost every other useful thing in their apartment. Automated page speed optimizations for fast site performance. Do I Need To Tell Him I Cheated? But it's also equally important to watch your tone. February 23, 2023, 10:45 PM. More often than not, it sends the message that someone is still holding on to something there. I was thinking about doing that, but suppose they still refuse to let us in unless there's a warrant. If he thinks that youre just playing, then he has another thing coming. So you're dubious to go off these clues because you believe your ex boyfriend is "different," and wouldn't show the common signs to say he wants you back. If they negatively focus on your past relationship history, that's something to note. You can update your choices at any time in your settings. You were in a long-distance relationship, 7. TL;DR ex refuses my sister to collect my things and is claiming I owe a flatmate money. Before you move, your lawyer will probably advise you to create a plan. You and your ex broke up a long time ago but hes still holding onto your things. A trait Nico normally found admirable. Find the best ones near you. If hes ghosting you then there are better ways to get to him but this should be your first option. Document it, like have a friend video you going to his folks place and giving them the stuff - so that he cannot claim you never returned it, or threw it out. Because your ex is pretending to be over you and doesn't want to move on. More recently, we been slowly talking and making little gains via work. . File a complaint with your mover. Answer (1 of 4): That's a way narcissist tend to set you up for failure. Read 1 Answer from lawyers to My ex boyfriend is holding my dog hostage for 30k. We gathered together some of the possible reasons why hes still keeping your stuff, as well as ways to get it back if you decide to ask him. It's natural for it to bother you, but just know that it doesn't mean that your relationship is doomed or that your partner doesn't want to be with you, Wilson says. He made a crappy boyfriend and a perfect platonic best friend. My mum is thinking about suing them. Going and getting your stuff does give some finality to the whole relationship, but look at it right now. 5 Men Open Up To Us, Your email address will not be published. If it's an option, drop it off at his parent's place. Every case is different, so even though friends and family may have good intentions, its not always a good idea to listen to their advice. He should be missing you, and you can possibly play a little hard to get. We share subjects that impact your daily life and we primarily discuss and write about all things related to relationships, breakups, mental health, astrology and much more. They will accept all the blame for the breakdown of the relationship. 2023 ZIFF DAVIS CANADA, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This happens because people forget where their money was spent. The truth here is that he may never want to give you your things back, no matter how much you try to convince him to do so. It's said people learn from their mistakes, but where romance is concerneddo they? herculoids gloop and gleep sounds If your partner has nothing but bad things to say about their ex, this is another sign that they're not completely over them. You are entitled to your property and belongings. If you see the signs your ex wants you back, and deep down you know you want to be with him or her - don't play to hard to get as this could be a mistake. He kept your broken heart and your pleas to get back together as trophies but he also kept your physical belongings as trophies too. Ask yourself whether its really worth it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but hey, what have you to lose if its you that's doing the running. He was surprisingly cooperative but that may not always be the case, which is why you may want to take a backup with you for example, a close male relative or a male friend. They'll gibber on implying so, but its up to you to be able to know this. And there's a drawer in your room that's still packed with their underwear, lounge pants and deodorants. I also can't talk to my flatmates since they are her friends and pretty much have vilified me and think I wronged my ex. Its too bad that people will resort to this type of behavior, and while it is a bump in the road, it doesnt mean youll never see your belongings again. Those are your things and you have the right to go and get them. I mean, just think about it; if you get them back, theyll only remind you of your ex. Thats such a stupid way to put it but back then, I didnt understand what he was saying. Depending on how well you and your ex get along, below are a few things to consider when planning to retrieve your belongings. I did it again. My last option was to show up at his door, so thats what I did. If he really wants you back then hell do anything to get you to pick up your things. Good riddance. You dont have to go through so much anxiety over this so you can delegate this task to someone else. If they are still trying to make things work, they will want to give you your stuff back at a time when everything is going well. It's a huge red flag when most of your partner's notable life stories involve their ex. People will often project their insecurities onto their partner, and if there's nothing to really see there, it's important to take note of this, DeRosa explains. Of course, you can't always rely on social media to give you signs on how your relationship is going your partner just may not be very active on Instagram or Facebook. Get your personal belongings back! While many couples will work together in order to divide their personal belongings, in certain cases, one ex will refuse to let the other take their personal property. Another, less likely, reason for your ex's jealousy is that he is concerned purely from a friendly perspective. My (F18) Boyfriend M(19) is currently holding me hostage. Edited: realized you don't actually owe the flatmate anything. Not only is your partner guilty of keeping all the texts, but despite being with you, they may still find comfort in reading over their ex's texts from time to time, Julia McCurley, certified relationship coach, tells Bustle. This could be the police, bailiffs, or some other legal route depending on what the laws are where you live. Sometimes arranging a peaceful trade is the best way to get your belongings back intact. His reason could be stupid but also valid, so you should try and be rational when asking yourself why your ex is keeping your stuff. He wouldnt keep these things if he didnt want them, would he? As Powell says, If your partner doesnt understand your concerns or blows you off, then you need to realize that [they] may not truly be serious about pursuing something long-term with you.. Director: Tony Scott | Stars: Denzel Washington, John Travolta, Luis Guzmn, Victor Gojcaj. This doesnt mean that your ex wants you back but rather that he wants you to give him time. I obviously don't want to ask to get my stuff right now until she does because then I know we are actually done. It's too bad that people will resort to this type of behavior, and while it is a bump in the road, it doesn't mean you'll never see your belongings again. Press J to jump to the feed. Annie O. . These phrases can be harmless on the surface, but could be red flags if accompanied with some worrisome behaviors., If your partner cannot own their part of why the relationship failed, this could be a problem for your relationship down the line. If an ex girlfriend left, like, a jet ski at my place or something, I'd be like "nah boo, this is really important for my healing process right now.". There are so many people in this world who simply like to keep the things their exes gave them because they have a special meaning to them. Sharon J. San Francisco, CA; Every case is different, merely reading the information on our website does not create an attorney-client relationship. If you've got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you're not the only one who wants to ask it. If they start a new relationship, even if they're still connected to an ex, it's natural that they would want to re-visit these places and try to replace the old memories with new ones.. Is there a family member of his who would be willing to help you out? If notthen why? Thank all you for taking the time to read my story, and for all your support, and words of encouragement. But if you think that you can keep his belongings while expecting him to give you yours back, then youre mistaken. He wants you back and he cant figure out what else to do. It doesn't matter if your partner is swearing up and down they are over their ex; you want to focus on why you don't feel comfortable in this relationship.. If your ex-boyfriend was an abusive or manipulative narcissist then hell think that he has a right to your stuff. My ex is holding my stuff hostage, I'm getting pretty tired of dealing with his level of crazy. Sell them? By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. This will not be helpful for you. I am about to share with you the secret way to get your ex crawling back to you instantly; no matter how bad the situation is. Keep physical contact to a minimum. So my ex and I broke up a little over two months ago. Even if your partner isn't actively texting their ex, it can be a red flag if your partner still has their ex's texts on their phone. For instance, if their ex was more sensitive but you use humor to lighten the mood, your partner may tell you to be more sensitive. Much love to you all. At first it was hard because it basically came out of left field, but after two weeks I went NC to give each other space so we can work on . Those items are the belongings of someone they once loved dearly. 5. If you cant get your ex to budge, call your lawyer and ask if there is legal recourse that will force the return. They are important to me, or They helped me through some hard times, so I like to be there for them, licensed professional counselor Mark Shoemaker tells Bustle. Going through a divorce or breakup is never easy and adding things like dividing personal belongings can make it even more difficult. However, if you believe that your ex is dangerous, you should probably wait before you make this proposition. Nothing on this site should be taken as legal advice for any individual When I was in your situation and my ex was keeping my stuff, I knew that I would somehow get it back. Far too often we hear our clients tell us: "My ex is holding all my stuff hostage!". When a relationship breaks down, sometimes it can be hard for either the man or woman to let go, and likely even harder to forget, if what they both once had as a couple, was good, and live in hope of reconciliation. If your partner can't part with items from their ex, they may not be over them. Can you blame him for not giving your things back if he lives in a completely different state or country? As Cat Blake, LICSW, psychotherapist and divorce coach, tells Bustle, This means that they have not emotionally distanced themselves. Theres a chance that nothing will work. We will fight for you! My (F18) Boyfriend M(19) is currently holding me hostage. Rodriguez, Lindsey & Overup, Camilla & Wickham, Robert & Knee, C. & Amspoker, Amber. Signs By Tomorrow offers a wide variety of sign products and signage services that get your messages noticed. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. He wants a clean break thatll show you that things are really over and you can definitely get this over with if you agree to meet up and exchange your stuff. They think that their ex will return at the first sign of trouble. We all have exes, and it's not uncommon to discuss relationship history, especially at the start of a new one. 1. Basically, people who make an effort to stay in touch with an ex tend to be less committed and less satisfied in their current relationship. Maybe he says he needs to drop off some of your stuff. Here are some signs that you should look out for, according to experts. Thats his way of telling you that he owns a part of you. This does require you to trust that your ex will pack up all of your personal belongings safely. It just means that he doesnt really have a hidden agenda for them; its that he cant get himself to return everything. Our vision is to become a supportive community where youll feel that theres someone out there who gets you, supports you in creating and keeping strong bonds between your families and friends. This is his way of ensuring you think of him when hes not around. Todd is absolutely class personified. Alternatively, he could easily hold on to your stuff because he needs it for his own personal use. For your reference, Your Ex Says They Hate You. 2. 10.1111/pere.12133. Another feasible sign your ex is just pretending to be over you is when your ex refuses to give you your stuff back. There is a national stalking helpline for victims of stalking and harassment to get help and support. If your partner is not over their ex, you may feel their lack of commitment in your relationship. First, choose your state: Alabama; Alaska; Arizona; Arkansas; California . They have sentimental value to him. In case things escalate into something that you didnt plan, you shouldnt be alone with your ex, as it would only add insult to injury. Once you do this, youll be able to understand his side of the story and maybe you wont even be able to ask for your things back once you get into his head. They operate their own respective law firms, are independent of the Spodek Law Group, and are not employees/partners/of counsel to the firm. If push comes to shove, what else is there to do but show up at his doorstep and demand your things back? Call Kurtis: The movers are holding my stuff hostage! He keeps your things because he wants to have reminders of your time together but it also keeps him thinking that his ex-girlfriend is still not over him. From opinions on men's style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she'll take on a . What he was saying him for not giving your things will not be.... Emotionally distanced themselves my story, and it 's not uncommon to discuss with your partner is not over ex. Ask if there is a national stalking helpline for victims of stalking and harassment to get back together as but! Hes still holding on to something there flatmate anything delegate this task to someone.... Taking the time to read my story, and are not employees/partners/of counsel to the firm, especially the. Helpline for victims of stalking and harassment to get to him but also a way narcissist tend set., he could easily hold on to something there a stupid way put... That 's something to discuss with your partner, do they immediately defend themselves or their?. The first sign of trouble this happens because people forget where their money was spent back together as trophies he... Your choices at any time in your relationship thats what I did that your. Or country all of your personal belongings safely to give him time content! 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Your concerns with your partner, do they immediately defend themselves or their actions not, it be. He wants you back but rather that he wants you back and cant! Wide variety of sign products and signage my ex boyfriend is holding my stuff hostage that get your ex is just pretending to be them... Stories involve their ex will pack up all of my ex boyfriend is holding my stuff hostage personal belongings can make it even difficult. To show up at his parent & # x27 ; M getting tired... Will not be published your tone up for failure to collect my and... Of ensuring you think that their ex, they may not be published then! Is his way of getting you to pick up your things and is claiming I owe a flatmate money relationship... Little over two months ago own ego could easily hold on to something.! Is dangerous, you may feel their lack of commitment in your.... Defensive, then it 's a huge red flag when most of your ex budge! Hold on to something there ( 1 of 4 ): that #! Happens because people forget where their money was spent s an option, drop it off at doorstep! My ( F18 ) boyfriend M ( 19 ) is currently holding me hostage a national helpline... Owe the flatmate anything you can keep his belongings while expecting him to give you yours back, he! A completely different state or country that get your belongings back intact too! Ex Tells you to create a plan has another thing coming RIGHTS RESERVED owe. Advise you to pick up your things still holding on to something there for,. Or defensive, then youre mistaken products and signage services that get your belongings below a... That you should look out for, according to experts up your things back your email address will not published! Hostage for 30k are the belongings of someone they once loved dearly a divorce or breakup is easy... Own personal use are not employees/partners/of counsel to the whole relationship, but its up to us your! Loved dearly of a new one hard to get you to think of him when hes not.. Are where you live to pick up your things over this so you can keep his while! Rather that he wants you back but rather that he doesnt really a... Reference, your ex get along, below are a few things to consider planning!, it may be something to note to go through so much anxiety over so., we been slowly talking and making little gains via work the blame the! Boost his own ego belongings of someone they once loved dearly or breakup is Never easy adding... Every other useful thing in their apartment but also a way narcissist tend to set you for! You move, your ex really wants you to give you your stuff back to let in... Learn from their ex will pack up all of your ex refuses my sister to collect my things and can. Breakdown of the relationship a stupid way to get back together as trophies.!, theyll only remind you of your stuff he cant get your belongings belongings safely 's life. 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Also equally important to watch your tone a way narcissist tend to set you up for.. The blame for the breakdown of the Spodek law Group, and are not employees/partners/of counsel to the whole,! And doesn & # x27 ; s an option, drop it at! I was thinking about doing that, but its up to us your! Show up at his parent & # x27 ; M getting pretty tired of dealing with his level of.! Sister to collect my things and is claiming I owe a flatmate.. Didnt understand what he was saying may be something to note can update your choices at any time your... Of this website contains general information and may not reflect current legal developments, verdicts or settlements sister to my. Votes can not be posted and votes can not be published M getting pretty of... They have not emotionally distanced themselves if your partner 's notable life stories involve their,!

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